Monday, April 2, 2012


if i look back and say i re-visited this after around four years ...

with an introspection...i must say i sincerely need to learn to say NO ...

i have been suffering all these years for" yes" ...rather yes sir !!!its chronic

if anywhere you can hear , plz hear this texts or the words which i am deciphering while typing them and perhaps everyday every moment in some dialect or language !!!

post me out ....before i forget myself !!

yours truely

Friday, July 24, 2009


IS IT JUST A LIFE OR YOU ARE ACTUALLY LIVING IT …these were the lines written on the walls of one of the backpacker in cape town were I stayed , actually after meeting so many people which I will be mentioning subsequently I realize that how limited we think and how broad can we . I have never even seen in my dreams that will go to foreign its just by virtue of my profession I am here today, or could have died even without regretting for it as for most of us its study well get a job and in case u earn handsomely u may think of it with your wife or just leave it to your multinational company and wait till it sends u!!!!!But even if u leave this going abroad part we don’t even think of vacationing at least in our own country which is so vast in herself. During interaction with one of the German girl she told me they actually look forward to go abroad after their studies and before they get fixed for a permanent job, imagine the subtle difference between us. For a student in our place its actually out of the box unless is not getting a scholarship to study in Cambridge or Harward or son of a rich lad Of course money plays its part but not too that extent.

Backpacking is something like a life style on its own which one gets into it once he is a traveler, perhaps it encompasses much more then seeing places which can be rather quoted as tourist. It has a routine, you have already organized company in the name of backpacker and people inside literally trust you as you step inside the gate. Sitting in the evening with people from so many different backgrounds so many nationalities interacting with them is simply great which you will feel when a Spanish girls walks up to u to praise Indian curry. So many talks over the drinks were we you finally end up planning for your next day trip and also get a partner to hook-up with in night club during the late hours. I was backpacking last month Highlights of it are:-

FALLING IN LOVE WITH GAIA….JAI HO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Few fellow backpackers whom I remember:-

Gaia: the Dutch girl I met in Cape Town. We shared the room for 4 days; she was here for a volunteer social work. She was working in an orphanage. We climbed Table Mountain together and shared the pain of cramps for next 3 days too.

Shannon: 62 years old Spanish lady backpacking, there was one more old lady with her they use to spend most of their time cooking in the camp kitchen. Use to find it uncomfortable to visit pubs so sometimes seen in the eating joints of Long Street.

A German guy who was cycling alone from Germany and was heading to Cape Town, was cycling since last one year.

Two Swiss guys driving from Switzerland and were being robbed by few local guys at Zambia they were busy looking for a customer who can buy their vehicle in Zambia.

It’s great I miss my days in SOUTH AFRICA!!!!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

tAstE oF lifE........

life pushes you around , few fight, few accept and few quit!!!!

After I joined pune that was the time I came across various options available in life , like the concept of part time job which was something I never heard before , for me a job was something for which one has to appear in a entrance exam followed by a interview. One day Anish asked me very casually for joining him in his job, the job was to deliver packet milk of AMUL to the houses its basically a campaign where we were supposed to take the feed backs of the free sample of the packet milk which we delivered a day prior, , for instance that was very awkward for me but the way anish told me sounded like a normal everyday task as he has already done a lot of such short term works so he use to see it just as an alternate source of income . I have always imagined job as a long term fixed income source thing and there can never be a alternate source of income when you are studying still I said yes, I wanted to experience and learn things, we started the work, everyday in morning we use to collect 40 packets of milk from a dairy and then go to particular society in particular locality to distribute it, guided by our team leader who was an MBA marketing. Early in the morning it was us and the other doodlwala , who were the only people seen around pressing call bells of different houses, the doodhwala use to give us a very angry look as if we are his competitor and are going to affect his business. Most of the times we were like unexpected guest early in the morning, many a times we were abused for disturbing the sweet sleep of people as no body was interested to listen to our flowery English so early in the morning, few refused to take the milk as it was a free sample thinking it as some plan of robbers to poison them and then robbing their stuff and similarly few shamelessly use to ask for two more samples as it was free. Slowly we learned the job, actually learning the job means learn to fool your superior, we started filling the feedbacks by own without actually distributing the packets. All the free samples we use to dump it in a “chai ki tapri” in front of our college and in the bargain we had free tea for the day. I remember Anish has also planned of body building seeing the availability of free milk everyday. But as u know the wrong things doesn’t sustain too long the campaign got over as I am sure the company would have not received an excellent response to their product and god knows about the job of our team leader . What I learned there was mental psyche to work as I regularly use to get up at 5 o clock in the morning which I never did for my college, somehow that sincerity for doing a job in me or may be the excitement of free milk was there which has taught me to stay regular in my job.

For few months there was no job during this time I was basically learning how to get a job or to look for a job and suddenly one day I landed up in PYRAMIDS, PYRAMIDS is a departmental store in convent street pune, and a walk-in interview was scheduled there I took a print out of my six lines CV where I have proudly mentioned my expererince with Amul and entered the room. My interview went excellent, may be because the HR was a beautiful female her name was Anuja and suddenly seeing her my responses to her questions where so excellent as if I am trying to win her heart and not the job, whatever the case I was selected for a full time job this time it was from morning ten to evening eight I knew it was a long working hour and was sure its going to be tough but still I decided to have a taste of it. They said for the first month they will pay me 3,500 rupees, as during that time it was the experience which I wanted to have was more important then money and even I calculated it financially if from morn ten to evening eight I am blocked inside a building where am I going to spend money so for that my parents money was sufficient for me. I was given men’s formal section, with a specific brand “zodiac” to take care of it sales actually the management has the policy of giving one brand to each individual so that all the spirit/loyalty of the sales personals is there towards it and will Endeavour to increase the sales of his brand and in bargain the business of all brand use to go up equally , this brand loyalty system in first month has ended up making more enemy to me then friends as I was aggressive in selling my own brand . zodiac was given to a new recruit as the brand already has one sales rep from the company , his name was zaved bhai, Zaved bhai was a great marketing personal I have come across. Though he has not done any MBA or course but his stunts and styles where mind blowing. I have seen him saying with utmost confidence that the next customer who enters this room will take everything of zodiac and he literally use to convince the customer in buying shirt , tie. Trouser, socks and handkerchief all of zodiac. I have learned a lot from him like he told me never show zodiac in first go as from the first option customer is never satisfied try to listen his requirement till then show other brands and then finally take out the zodiac as if it’s the one he was talking about and the moment zodiac is out take it as if there is nothing else left in the store and be aggressive till he finally submits it to zodiac all the options shown after zodiac should be something inferior and out of his taste, his tricks where very layman but it actually worked every time and by the end of week it always zodiac with the highest sales. I personally have learned a lot from him though he was doing all that for his personal benefit so that he gets an extra effort from a sales man towards his brand. Whatever, I was finding it a good learning, I even started liking a girl there but she use to react towards me as if I am a stranger or a new face and cannot be relied upon after few days I started feeling that in this job routine I am actually missing my original focus and that is a college life , college friends, so I decided to leave but in the over all process I have learned a lot the biggest was the marketing strategy or reading the customers mind from zaved bhai, also about different brands there production and the complete cycle of there sales. I even learned about various textiles like cotton, polyester polymer, and nylon and attained the efficiency of telling the texture by touching it telling the waist size, shirt size and trouser length for alteration just by seeing and above all standing from morning ten to evening eight was itself a hard work to do.

And then I joined Shoppers Stop, it’s again like a same departmental store but with more value and also my personal favorite, because of my experience of pyramids it was easier for me to get through the interview. I have even learned to put forward my conditions related to timings and pay package this time I was a part timer in which I have to work from evening five thirty to night nine thirty after the tedious routine of pyramids it was like a cake walk to me and that too with a handsome pay of 4000 rupees a month perhaps my focus was changing slowly I wanted to earn some money not withstanding the fact that I have the will to learn more and experience more. The process started with 14 days of training for a group of ten, we all were recruited together and this time I had a company of friends from the beginning unlike pyramids where I was stranger. during my training only I involved in a affair with a girl named Akansha , after 0930 in night I use to sit with her at shivaji nagar station till her local train arrives. At times I even dropped her to her place also. I was placed in lingerie section initially, the section was a haunted experience in for me, studying so long in boys school I never thought I will be interacting with females through out and that to asking about there BRA and breast sizes, it was very embarrassing for me and I remember my face use to go red when some lady asks for measuring her size, akansha was in ladies section next to me and she always use to laugh seeing my state while measuring females waist and chest size. I have developed a bad habit of staring at female’s breast in college, thereby checking my proficiency by guessing the size like 30C and 32 B, the various new concepts I learned there was cup size, padded, upliftment etc. I even recollected when I was kid I have seen a adult movie poster in raigarh the name was 36D, I was confused that why a porn movie has such a coded name which later in shoppers stop I realized the emotions behind it. Overall I was not comfortable in the section and I approached my floor manager for change of section.
Listening to my genuine problem, she laughed at me initially but later convinced, akansha was unhappy with it as she thought I am trying to go away from her.

I was shifted to men’s formal section and brand given to me was "provogue", I was doing reasonably well in the section as I was well aware about all the clothes and brands, I remember I purchased a Tiffin box from my first salary so that I can have a company with other employees during the break in the dining room, I use to buy some vada paav and take it in my Tiffin box, as hostler the actual food was not possible for me. The tenure was going very well, I was shifted to cash counter during diwali, it was again a great experience handling huge amount of cash approx 20 -30 lakhs in a day. Imagine during peak season the store use to do an overall business of 2-3 corers a day. I was then shifted to customer care desk where I have interacted with various film stars, visited the store for shopping. Fortunately akansha was also shifted there and we were again under the same roof, few of the employees who joined with us even got married to each other the brightest example of workplace romance! And I guess it was one reason that akansha started expecting some words of commitment from me and finally our relationship ended as she was discouraged by my response towards marriage and long term plans. My college exams for second year were also approaching and so I decided to leave the job. But shoppers stop gave me the overall experience of a job to me a routine, relationship with other employees, a boss, a manger, targets, incentives, appraisal everything., by the end I have even learned how the merchandiser use to deal and where are the garments being produced and what is there actual cost of manufacture and what was the percentage of profit store earn on selling it. One story I will tell you which I came to know after joining the store, you all must have heard about the brand “SPYKAR”..,,,, spykar sounds totally English name but its actually a brand raised by few maharastrian brothers who have a dry cleaning and sand wash to denims shop in streets of Mumbai the shop name was spinning dry cleaners, which they later decided to launch a brand so the “spy is from spinning” and “kar is the maharastrian title which mostly ends with kar”. That’s how it makes spykar and that’s why we call it Indian levis.

In third year, not much of motivation left with me to learn and experience things I was rather focused towards the money or may be my vision towards it has changed like anish and I started taking it as alternate source of income so after that I did few short term campaigns like marketing for castrol diesel standing in front of a multiplex, organizing games in a five star and few more that too when I required few extra money . Tata indicom walky was my last campaign where I roamed all around pune in that marketing wala truck, later I started preparing for my UPSC exams.

Today I am a Army officer “ the sarkari naukri after all” ….but I am sure the things which I have learned in my life will surely help me some day as I believe the learning and the experiences of life is never a waste it always helps some day sometime !!!!!!!! Hope you will enjoy my taste of life.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

AUSTRLIAN FALLACY…………to my unstable mind!!!!!

I have never been to Australia but somehow today I am feeling as if this country has something to do with me may be in future the truth will be discovered. Suddenly since morning I, a minute portion of such a big nation (India) have started feeling that what’s mine personal terms with Australia. When I recollect I have always appreciated Australian cricket team, Shane Warne and Steve Waugh are my favorite cricket player, yellow color is one of my favorite which is there dress in most of the sports, yes at times, I have commented that for Indians its not good to settle in Australia because I have heard it somewhere that Indians are not treated well there. But my whole of this thought process was basically for one silly reason which at present is a big issue of my life.

Off late I am in love with a girl, this time it’s not the same as few of u must be correlating with various names. She was always there as a permanent factor of my (love) lifecycle. Most of my relationship never worked out with any girl since her topic was always instrumental in that, as I never had a convincing reply for any girl regarding my relationship with her. I know here since the time I have not even learned knowing people, we met each other by virtue of being in the same town, same caste and same society and our parents were in good terms but not that strong terms to make us feel like brother and sister. How we started liking each other and finally in love today is the longest story of my life.

After a long era of carelessness, I have started caring for me and I realized the happiness of being loved and above that being in love with someone and so anything going wrong is blowing out of proportion for me, like AUSTRLIA. Today I desperately wanted to chat with her but her office server gone down which happen to be an AUSTRLIAN company and so is the server. A new boy and new threat to my love entered her life a year before when he was flying to AUSTRLIA for his job, fallen in love with her, came back from AUSTRLIA and then extended the proposal for marriage to her parents, I guess again AUSTRLIA is also one factor which has impressed her parents to say yes for the marriage and may be after her marriage she will go to Australia. Presently he is not getting a job which is again a deciding factor for the marriage but his AUSTRLIAN company is calling him back and this will become reason to expedite her matrimonial procedures before I reach to fight for my cause, Is it a co-incidence that everything getting against me are related to AUSTRLIA or I am badly in love or may be I have gone mad!!!!! Hhahahaa…enjoy and imagine the state of mind I am into and they call me I am peace keeper here. A peace keeper without having peace of mind basically this peace keeping mission has made me into pieces………Waiting for the day to go back to my nation.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


For hansie and vishubha, the happily married couple

It was c/o Mr. P K Anthony where I came to stay with hansie for the first time after my second year of college. Hansie is my friend ,we were in same college, BA student. Mr. Anthony was a garage owner as per my information though I have never seen it but seeing the size of his house I realized that he must be having a big garage or the chain of garages and not that mechanic with all his white shirt gone black working beneath the car!!!and I don’t understand why most of this mechanic wear a light colored shirt anyways Mr. Anthony has a dog which I use to consider as a most hopeless creature on earth, I use to call him dumb dog as I have never heard him barking at someone not only dumb but also I was thinking he is a dwarf till I came to know about a separate breed of short highted dogs named as DASHHUNT. Another special character in Mr. Anthony’s house was his wife whom I have always seen cutting small pieces of meat in the verandah located right in front of entrance gate. And she use to give me a look as if I have not paid the rent of last 15years, Though I had a very short stay at his place or else he would have died of heart attack because my look only was enough to increase his blood pressure, but this stay we have unfolded the greatest moments of our life.

Hansie was more like software professional then a BA student, after he gets up in the morning he use to have the complete course of his break fast. Take bath daily, Wear clean clothes and wash his underwear with dettol. He was highly committed towards a girl especially for me who stays miles away from commitment, his was a benchmark and I remember he regularly use to call her. He maintained a kitchen also in the room to handle his impromptu hunger which strikes his stomach quite often and also for making tea. He has unique collection of coins in his table in the form of groups of three rupee and fifty paisa which is utilized to buy WILLS CLASSICespecially during the last week of month when we both happen to be below poverty line. Though for the first half of the month we had an enhanced frequency and capacity of doing things from drinks to cigarettes, also his outgoing calls to girlfriend, our diet and the availability of petrol in our bikes everything happen to be adequate. Overall hansie was a hard worker with enormous energy that he can work for hours but still I have never seen him reducing an inch from his waist. He generally use to come late in the night from office by then I after loosing interest on all things to keep myself awake was in my deep sleep, except for few rare occasions when I am awake I have noticed the energy in him even after 12 hrs of work is commendable. As a roommates we came across the great moments of life, like once we had no money to buy a cigarette and surprisingly he came back from the office with a full packet of Gold flake kings (not our brand) as typical student I guessed he might have flicked it from someone in his office which latter he explained that he swiped his credit card to buy the packet. Imagine the use of credit card by a bankrupt, Credit card (one more attribute unlike a student). Similarly one night when I was alone in the house and was dying out of hunger but has only three rupees which fortunately left because of the shortage of fifty paisa to buy a wills. I went outside and purchased few tomatoes for my dinner as I am a bad cook so I never dared to buy something which requires cooking, I missed hansie that night for his innovative cooking which happen to meet the requirements of both taste and quantity with minimum resource. In the same room we planned for our bike trip from pune to shimla though it never worked out but the plan was great where he has even worked out the possibility of meeting his girlfriend in delhi on her b’day. But still among all was the masterpiece “JANA RE..”

One day he returned from the office late in the night I don’t exactly remember the time but he was displaying the same energy level, I don’t know what was the backdrop but suddenly that day after returning from the office he took out his Casio from the cartoon which was untouched and was kept over the slab since the time I am seeing it, he connected the Casio to the speakers and started with some Hindi songs. It was a small Casio generally used for the initial exposure and was gifted to him and I was witnessing this trait for the first time. He was trying to recollect some old famous assamese tune; I personally have never heard assamese song and so inspite of applying brain I was enjoying the tune. Suddenly he stopped and said” it’s not that one!! I m forgetting” And I reacted simultaneously “it was great. I mean sounding great what was that? then” he started playing the tune again and with every next attempt he was improvising and inventing a new segment attached to it suddenly we realized that we are composing a tune and that was how the initial two lines where made. I wrote the words for it in a piece of paper and we started playing it again this time I was singing the line written for the song. For some moment we were silent may be we both were trying to make the next line or it might be the feeling of achievement that made us dumb for few seconds actually we both were involved in our thoughts. For next few mins there was no progress he started playing the tune again and then I realized that may be the A .R . Rehman in his fingers required the company of Shivamani, so I picked the bucket lying in the room inverted it and fixed it between my thighs. We started playing it again and this time with percussion effect, we both knew it was sounding great and we can’t leave it at this moment. It was on the third time when we stroked the next tune for antara and hansie was so perfect at that time that he didn’t took a single re- take to play it on his Casio, I took no time to write lyrics for it and our one cycle of mukhda to antara was complete and so was our expression we didn’t waited a second to start playing it again and again sometimes in faster tempo and sometimes the slower version. I remember I called swati and asked her to hear the song because it was remembering her I have written the lines of the song. Since then we sang the song in every of our mehfil but never attained the magic which was there on that night.

It’s a truth that me and hansie have never spoken or discussed about music or anything artistic before this day. It’s a truth that after that we never made any other song, but one more truth is on that night there was some magic happening with us or may be WE WERE BLESSED!!!!!!!!!!!! Mr. Hansraj dutta today is happily married to the same girl and well settled in ahemdabad (though I have given this marital status to him much before) and I am still unmarried and settled word doesn’t suit my profession.

The song



Chorus: lalalalalalallaa


DIL MERA LE HI…………………..!!!!!



Jana reeee …janareeeee …….janareeee…ooo jana re hey jana re….ends!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

from the peacekeepers diary.........

Kashebere, 10th Feb.
Somewhere in eastern Congo
For balu chacha, the epitome of energy who knows the art of living life.

I use to complain about shoes till I saw a man without legs………….

How happy are they even when there is nothing or rather because there is “nothing”….nothing to loose!!! the thought striked me at around 12:30 in the afternoon when I was sitting at my network hut (place where we use to get the mobile network) since morning I was doing nothing except for holding/lifting my mobile in different directions and angle to get a better network and meanwhile staring at the group of boys standing outside and curiously observing our camp. I have noticed the same curiosity in them everyday when they come and stand and then start there process of observing each and everything inside camp, from generator to jeep and sometimes to the tents. It was actually a daily affair for me too till I realized that what they are observing is actually a dream world for them, a world where people have adequate food to eat, clothes to wear, have electricity and vehicles when they have to go somewhere its actually something like a third world or may be a different planet for them and when u stare at them they smile displaying that expression of privileged for being noticed by someone from their dream world.

As what I know them from my stay here, they are much below the poverty linestill look satisfied as the ground here is very fertile but they cultivate which suffice their family for the day. Its hard even to imagine for them about the vehicles as a mode of transport ,I have noticed them running meters away from road when our vehicles passes by and give a big laugh on the sound of vehicle as if god knows what mechanics it is. Walking for 100’s of km is a normal feature from children to old women as I have seen them walking for 3 days or more when they have to go to market. And sometimes with there complete household which is mere 2 small gathris of a complete family in order to shift to a new village. This shifting is again a regular process it’s not by choice but by the fear of death which is prevailing here among every human being and in every hour too. And on the contrary is THE PLACE, the land where the largest mines of diamond exist the soil is so fertile that agriculture can bring the boom in economy. So is it the irony of life or the design of nature that the poorest people of world are sleeping over one of the costliest substance of earth. They would have never realized this fact and might be the reason that I see them happy even after all odds. They have a very typical habit of celebrations. They celebrate I don’t know what can be the event but everyday late in night I can hear them singing dancing on drums and clapping till the early morning.

To celebrate life ,to remain happy and to smile actually u don’t need anything or may be you need that state of “NOTHING”.

Monday, February 9, 2009


I started my education in a convent school, which is in a type in itself specially when it comes to English “CONVENT TYPE” but for me I still try to overshadow this convent school factor for the same reason as to nobody will understand the fact CONVENT school of raigarh is something else then the classical missionary school they are dreaming about. Its that English medium convent where there is definitely merchant of Venice as part of syllabus but still students pronounce math as “MAX”, even I as student discovered the fact very late that there is separate thing called compass used to make circle other then the COMPOX BOX (I don’t know what it literally means) which till then I use to call rounder. Similarly there were many such examples that can be well enough to quote me as a disgrace to convent educated student. But still somehow just to have an edge over other school students in raigarh we have better writing capabilities in English but that too was restricted to pre designed leave application in which we only have to change the cause for leave. As my personal experience of a student of convent from raigarh actually I have learned to read English with better pronunciation which I consider as my achievement till I left the school because in the educational end I used to fail in English and it was a surprising fact to fail in a language otherwise failure was the privilege given only to the monsters like ‘max”sorry math and general science. Our school has a system of subdividing language i.e. English and Hindi into different branches for e.g. English one and English two at times I use to feel that this facility was introduced for me especially so that I can manage to pass in any one of the English to consider my self as a pass type students. By this focused approach towards English to get the tag of convent has actually affected the other corner where I have lot many companions for poor Hindi language perhaps almost 80%of the students have their spelling mistakes in Hindi and grammar off course was an unedifying fact. But that was never been taken seriously may be as per the national tradition that people from Uttar Pradesh. Madhya Pradesh and all are expected to have good Hindi even if they are not taught and similarly the south Indians are excused of this blame as if they are from the separate nation all together. Somehow today I have managed myself to be capable of writing this much I thank the same convent school which has actually kept me away from the excuses to save myself from the horror of English, to the girls of pune who actually motivated me to speak up English in which all the beautiful words are made like love you, kiss u. miss u, and many more and also to my great Bhaarat chacha who has given his honest effort to teach us the difference between present continuous and present perfect…..may be I become that PRESENT PERFECT SOME DAY……………in the name of Jesus ………AMEN!!!!!!